The Problem with the Internet

For about 30 years now, I’ve been trying to put my finger on what exactly is causing the amount of friction I have with human beings online. They like to say that it’s entirely my fault, but that’s bullshit. There’s a certain level of interaction that I give back to them (for lack of better terms in English: meaning, I react in certain ways that feed into what they’re doing) that is not helpful for the environment of which I wish to create. Let me give you a concrete example.

A person yells out into the void, on a social media service, ‘if you do X, then fuck you, you’re scum.’

I reply, ‘don’t call me scum.’

The person replies and starts a fight.

People often say, ‘don’t feed the troll.’ But this doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter, because, in this situation, only the troll is allowed to speak. It’s similar to how liberals try to get away from Neo Nazis by avoiding every single bit of terminology that the Nazis use. The Nazis glom on to something, and the liberals abandon it.

Let me give you an example from popular culture, to help you understand this more easily. I’m going to make this more-palatable for you.

The Nazis take shit like the Borg.

Now this is the point where the people reading assume that I’m suggesting pacifism against Nazis. No: what I’m pointing out in this video occurs 1 minute and 7 seconds in:

… I’ve made too many compromises already; too many retreats. They invade our space, and we fall back.

Here’s what I’ve seen happen over the past 3 decades, online.

Good people used to populate the Internet. There were assholes, but they were cloistered. And then the more people got to use the Internet, the more they took it for granted, the more general toxicity and negativity invaded the space.

Now the good people are cloistered, but the assholes run free.

I’m not suggested we should have gatekept the Internet better. After all, there also is no ‘we’. I could not have done anything, nor could you have.

What I’m saying, is, the more that the real world began to use the Internet, and the less that the Internet was this curiosity, relegated for use only by ‘nerds’ and social outcasts and misfits, the more everything bad about the real world began to permeate onto the Internet. Now there’s no going back.

Social outcasts used to keep the Internet nice for themselves. Now that they’re beset on all sides by normies, they’ve reacted in such a way where they’ve become spiteful, rageful, vindictive, and territorial, in ways that don’t make any sense. And they have no real way to gatekeep their environments that don’t also hurt they themselves.

‘Don’t feed the troll’ created an environment in which the people causing all the problems were allowed to speak, while the people who caused relatively fewer or no problems, they fell back. They surrendered their territor(ies) online, went to different websites, and became less concentrated. Meanwhile, the Bad People™ got full use of the facilities.

The insane are running the asylum. They have been since 2003. It’s just that, with how widespread Internet use is, it really hasn’t become a problem until quite recently. I’d like to say it started in 2014, to puff myself up and say, ‘I ruined this.’ But I didn’t. And it would’ve happened a different way, anyways.

Not even Chanology was the start.

This is not some blameless phenomenon. People perpetrated this. I had a hand in it, but I did not ruin it by myself. Furthermore, in trying to grow and evolve as a person, when what I did to protect my own ego, something that was once pretty much nonexistent, fragile and easily hurt, caused the largest tantrum spiral I’ve ever seen on the Internet? I offer no apologies.

Somebody told me I was worthless, and that I should kill myself.

And I told them to go fuck themselves.

And everything just unraveled from there.


It is, of course, going to continue. Human beings have no real desire to become better. When they say, ‘do better’, they don’t really mean it. They just want to be mean to one another.

And that’s your problem.

You want to be mean to each other. A lot.

Here’s a secret: when the Tantrum Spiral started in 2014 (and none of you are going to know what I’m referring to, unless you actually know me), I did not tell that person to go fuck themselves.

I said, ‘I don’t deserve to be spoken to, in this way.’ And they took it like I had slapped them in the face and said ‘go fuck yourself’. That’s why I always tell the story like that.

That’s the thing about human beings: you can tell them, ‘good morning’, and they’ll take it as an insult, demanding you tell them, what’s good about it?.

When people say that to me, by the way, I always tell them,

you’re alive. That’s what’s good about it.


Discussing Turtles with Crazy People

My uncle, Ryresai, once told me a story about how he was doing research about turtles, and other turtle-y things. And he was discussing this with someone, who seemed very interested in turtles. He was, in fact, a published author on some sort of turtle-y research.

My uncle is very intelligent. And he’s very passionate.

It was about an hour and 45 minutes in that Ryresai realized that the person he was talking to was insane. Some things started not making sense. And after that, the whole thing started to unravel.

Ryresai suddenly realized that nothing he had said to the man had had any real effect. He was discussing turtles with a crazy person.

The man he was talking to might once have been ‘sane’. Or he might have been something like a savant, where he was good at one thing, but he lacked relevant and useful experience and knowledge of protocol when it came to other things. Or he might have gone insane after he wrote the book.

But even then, there were signs. There were tangents in the book that started to not make sense. But it would almost-always get back on track. A minor derailment; nothing more.

But that’s the thing. Even, if not especially, the smartest of people, they tend towards insanity. I, in particular, chose not to pursue mathematics, because I did not want to develop schizophrenia. (When you’re nine years old and you’re basically the kid that J. shoots in the simulation in Men in Black, you tend to not want to pursue any more advanced informations.)

That is to say, I played the Marathon series on PowerPC Macintosh, and then, I got into Quantum Mechanics/Physics, pretty deeply.

You don’t wanna do that when your balls haven’t even dropped.

But, anyways. Jokes aside, there is one thing I want to tell you about all of this, that I want to impress upon you.

When you try real hard online? And you’re wondering why everyone is so angry at you? And you don’t understand?

And you’re trying to tell people things, and get them to understand you, but they’re just not understanding you?

Be careful.

You may be discussing turtles with crazy people.


An Explanation

A lot of people don’t tend to get the sublteties of my writing. They don’t understand my nuance. I’m not saying people aren’t smart if they don’t get it. I’m just saying, I want to make something perfectly clear.

The Internet is this way because you can’t get anything done when the people you’re talking to don’t fucking understand what you’re saying. That’s ‘discussing turtles with crazy people’.

Essentially, everyone trying to do something good online, they’re not being heard, nor understood; and when they want to gather with like-minded people, those like-minded people tend to either be insane themselves, or in such a bad fucking mood that they’ve cloistered themselves in a way that makes interacting with them damned near impossible.

It’s easy to be a mindless dipshit who smears their shit all over the wall and tells even the most-learned of elders that said elder’s mother sucks him good and hard thru his jorts. It’s much more difficult to actually produce anything resembling a civilization, when the vast majority of people who could, are being smeared with other people’s shit.

This is untenable.

Don’t expect anything useful from the Internet.

For civilization to exist, the people who act as the enablers of said infrastructure must also exist. And no one online is going to do the work for free, forever, without getting burnt out so badly that it doesn’t even matter.

I could write more, but I honestly have better shit to do.

Twitter Post-Mortem

Note: I work 7 days a week now, and my life is pretty much better and greater than it ever has been. So I have very little time for this now, but I feel a need to say something.

I left Twitter for Bluesky about 3 days ago.

And I’m not coming back.


No thanks.

When it comes to Twitter, there’s no easy way to parse it. You can only really speak of it truthfully by adhering strictly to definitions of what it was not. But of course, there are exceptions and expectations to list, and maintain.

Forthright it must be noted that, as of the time of this writing, Twitter is… alive. But one must question what sort of ‘life’ it really leads. One must question if websites like MySpace are ‘alive’, in comparison to their former glory.

Twitter is worse, though. With MySpace, the lights are on, but nobody seems to be home. One must necessarily wonder, who’s paying the hosting bill?. With Twitter, the lights are on, but the site itself is a fucked-out windsock. It may still ‘breathe’, but the light clearly left its eyes, some time ago.

And that’s okay. Clearly, it’s not, but— in a world where people set children on fire and nobody does anything, the boundaries of ‘okay’ are not clearly defined. Twitter’s ‘demise’ is, essentially, unimportant. What I had for lunch today was more important. What you had for lunch is, too. Essentially, Twitter was never ‘essential’.

It was great to get news before it actually broke— in my family, I was known as the ‘Computer Guy’, who could get the latest news before it even hit the airwaves. I’d beat mainstream news by 2-3 days. And I’d do that, because Twitter was mostly bullshit and I just told them unfiltered everything, and when I was right, they only remembered those parts. They love me, so they gave me leeway that newspapers would not be given by strangers.

Clearly, Twitter is not important, in the grand scheme of individual lives. There was a potential for it to be something more, but I think we all know why that never occurred. I think we all know who smothered it in its crib, so to speak, after a certain ‘Spring’ got a bit too spring-y.

And it wasn’t exactly important to me.

But I feel a sense of loss. And it’s similar to the feeling of loss when you come to terms with any other unimportant, yet emotional loss. There’s a sentimentality here that, in my mind, demands to be addressed. And that sentimentality spakes thusly:

It feels like when you’re processing the end of a beloved television show, only the show is still on the fucking air. Like Stargate SG-1 after the Goa’uld were defeated; or, perhaps, the Simpsons, trudging along, becoming exactly what they mocked during their best and greatest of all years.

But, in the end, shedding a tear for the Simpsons’ meteoric fall in quality— past season 8, most reckon— seems silly.

And so does shedding even a tear for Twitter.

Yes, I wanted a lot of things. And yes, I will discuss them.

But I’m a normal person right now.

I work 7 days a week.

Twitter could fucking fold and, as George Carlin once said, my blood pressure wouldn’t even change.

I have all of my friends on Bluesky. I have all of their Discord information. And, essentially, even if Bluesky did not exist, I know that I would find them.

With that in mind, I cannot be hurt.

Who gives a shit about Twitter?

Goodbye.

Reddit

Just as a quick aside: today, I woke up to a permanent ban on Reddit. Why?

Sexualized Harassment

This was very interesting. For the first two bans I received, I came back to two comments that seemed to have been edited. People were responding to shit I didn’t say, which was interesting. And then I realized that I was being targeted by a Reddit admin, or some sort of moderator who was moderating one of the top subreddits, based on the behavior exhibited.

In particular, I was targeted after I left a single comment: “Good”, on a thread in which a super-aggressive dog breed got banned in the U.K. And that’s when it started. And it was, yet again, as you could probably guess: yep, it was World News.

For the second comment, I have no idea what the fuck happened, as they don’t even show you what comment they ban you for. But this one, I’m telling this story. Because even though I don’t give a shit about Reddit, you don’t get to accuse me of sexualized harassment. You don’t. Fuck you.

Last night, Subreddit Drama (again: this is probably where the fuck the ban originated from, some admin or someone high up in that group of subreddits) had decided that a woman was not even a human being. And I took issue with this.

Usually when I get banned from places, I think, ooh, maybe I did somethin’ wrong. Like, even when I got banned from a Sailor Moon community when I was a kid, after I pointed out that the 30-year-old (almost 40, really) was grooming kids, and that’s no good, when I got banned from there? Until now, even then, I would sometimes wonder if I had done something wrong in another way, ‘earning’ me that ‘ban’.

When I was threatened with a permaban on World of Warcraft, for reporting a pedophile actively grooming a child (the GMs threatened me; even banning me for a second, to ‘show me what it’s like’), I thought, have I erred in some way?.

No.

This time, I have realized that it is you who is full of shit.

When I got banned the first time on Reddit for saying “good” to the news article that talked about a dog breed being banned in the U.K., the ban was for “racism” or some shit. Which was fun, because, it’s a dog. They’re a dog. They tried to make it out as being some sort of anti-black comment. It’s not. I’m a black people. Get fucked.

The second time, it was similar bullshit: they accused me of threatening someone. I did not.

Now, you’ve accused me of sexualized harassment.

I won’t accept that.


Leaving a nice paper trail

I’m leaving this here because I’m marking the wall. I’m gonna tell everybody what happened, and that’s not a threat, nor a promise. I’m leaving this here because you’re full of shit and I’m not going along with whatever shit you’ve just pinned on me.

The comment I think I got banned for (because it happened directly after), was telling a bunch of people in Subreddit Drama that they weren’t treating a woman like a human being.

The situation is thus: there’s a lady who has a Patreon. She has a web comic, and everyone has decided to harass her. They suggest things like leaking her nudes off of her Patreon, and everyone there was saying of her, such bullshit like, ‘well, she needs to get a thicker skin’.

The fuck, you stupid dickheads? No she doesn’t. Leaking nudes is a crime.

I got banned from Reddit, permanently, for telling people that leaking nudes is bad.

I got banned from Reddit, permanently, for telling people to stop harassing a woman.

Nope. I won’t accept that ban as legitimate. Get fucked.

I won’t use the website anymore (quite frankly, the thing did nothing but piss me off); and when the time comes and someone asks me for an AMA, I’m going to have the distinct fucking pleasure of telling them why that won’t be happening.

But of all my bans, I think I might actually wear this one with pride.

I wasn’t sexual predator enough for Reddit.

Commission and Business Info

Hi, since I’m getting e-mails about my work that was used in the Isaac Caret HOAX, I’ve decided to write this to provide quick information that I can link to on my Twitter.

First and foremost, I am busy pretty much 24/7 for the foreseeable future. Factor that in to the equation. Not to be rude, but unless you’re paying something more sustainable than a hundred dollars a day, I’m not going to be able to help you with your personal projects. I am not being mean: I’m just saying, my time is limited.

Outside of paid work, when it comes to unpaid, if you’re some sort of journalist or writer and you’re interested in some aspect of my work, this or my books, then send me an e-mail (icze4r @ gmail dot com) and I’ll see what I can do. This UFO / space alien shit is getting pretty crazy, and I can find the time to inform someone, if they’re willing to attribute me. Don’t contact me if you’re not willing to give me credit. Journalists, in the past, have asked to use my work without attribution, and some have. I’m not going to talk ethics at you, but, that’s a no-no. Do not contact me also if you’re going to pretend you’re not a journalist.

People occasionally send in fan mail. I read everything, which sounds like bullshit, but I do. I may or may not choose to respond. I will not respond if I think that the person trying to communicate with me is mentally impaired or underage. This comes with the territory, due to it both being the Internet, and me being an ‘Experiencer’ (I hate that term). I did, in fact, get abducted by aliens. I do, in fact, realize what that used to sound like, and I also have very quickly realized that I am surrounded by people who are not mentally well. I would prefer to not communicate with people like that, for fear of making their mental illness(es) worse.

Thank you for understanding, and have a great day! c(◕ᴗ◕✿)

What’s going on right now

“Enjoy Sunshine”, by Christian Riese Lassen

Hey.

So you’ve probably noticed a change in my personality.

It’s not, really. This is what I used to be like.

After a quarter of a century of trying to be someone I’m not— after helping people, raising 5+ million for random assholes on the Internet, and being as giving and caring as I could be— it came to me, upon a midnight clear, that I would be alone at the end of this.

I surrounded myself with people who clung to me, selfishly, and they required far too much upkeep from me to keep them sane. Energy vampires. And they gave nothing, and they did nothing for me. They didn’t even act as my friends: they were just… there. Taking up my energy.

And they kept sending me porn I didn’t wanna look at.

I started to get sickened. You tell them to stop; they only stop for a little while.

And then there were people who didn’t even really see me as being a person. There was a white guy, who, once, when I was talking about how racist white people had abused me, he decided to stick up for the white race.

Oopsy-daisy. Once I see the real you, that’s it.

I’m not naming names, because I don’t want to hurt people’s feelings, or make them feel scared. I just want to tell you why.

Let me tell you the story of why this happened.


The night my Mom almost died

When it comes to my family relations, you’ve heard the in’s and the out’s of them. My father beat me nearly to death when I was about 4 or 5. My mother protected me. But, we’ve had our back-and-forth’s, and I’ve had moments where I didn’t understand my mother, and she might not have understood me.

But then, she got cancer. Stage II, Multiple Myeloma. And my world began to change.

And then, after a Zometa treatment, she got sepsis. (The doctor says that Zometa couldn’t have caused it. Me, I’m the one who had to see her like that; I will forever tell her never to take Zometa again.)

In the middle of the night, not knowing who to talk to, not feeling any real connection between my other family members, I reached out to my online friends. I started to say things to people.

And I said things to a few people in private, and, one of them just said something like, “yeah, RIP”.

I said, ‘my mother might have sepsis’

And they just went, ‘yeah, RIP.’

I’ve told my mother about what they said. And my mother, God bless her, gave all sorts of excuses: that my friend didn’t know what to say; that they lacked the appropriate amount of tact; and so on, and so forth.

But the reality was, my friends knew what to say.

Comfort. Actual comfort.

Somebody who actually gave a shit about me.

I learned who my friends were, at that point.

In the middle of the night, when my mother’s lactic acid rose and she had to be super-hydrated in order to survive,

I suddenly realized that I didn’t actually like many people on here.


What’s the point of this?

I’ve been shadowbanned on Twitter, and banned from ever being Verified, ever since I defended an acquaintance from a dude who was perving on her. I’ve caused so much trouble online that it’s kind of funny.

I don’t… care anymore. I can bypass every ban; get around every shadowban; penetrate the Heavens; and it doesn’t matter.

None of this matters.

When I thought that my mother was going to die, it put everything into perspective for me.

People on here tried to control me. They tried to fuck with my brain. They tried to make me think I was stupid; that I was wrong; that I was narcissistic (in actuality, I have such a problem giving a shit about myself that, only recently, did I even try to start taking care of my own health); and so on, and so forth.

Last year, in February, when the ‘Chinese balloon’ was over that nuclear base, the world began to change for me. And I’ve accomplished things that I never dreamed could have even been possible.

I liked fucking around on the Internet. I was filled with a deep and horrific sense of dread, though, that I was wasting my time.

And I was.

And I was.

And so are all of you.


Where I go from here

I have something I have to do.

I have a lot of something’s that I have to do.

My mother’s fine. She’s going to live for a long time. I thank my real friends for donating to help her, and I am sorry that it had to come to this. I feel terrible that I even had to ask.

Now, though… I have a purpose. And I have things that I must do.

And I am falling away from this. I can feel it. I am drifting away from the Internet; and, one day, pretty soon? I don’t think I’m going to be able to stomach it.

For it is a silly place. Filled with horrible e-celebs, fashioning themselves in the image of whatever they thought I was; trying to provoke the anger of idiots and morons, all towards effecting a future that truly does not matter.

I think my Fear of Missing Out died when Twitter became even more of a ghost town than it had been before. I don’t feel like… saying anything on Twitter anymore, has any real effect.

I’ll keep it, to talk to my friends.

But I’m not going to pretend like I don’t think that everything is over. For it truly is.

In happier news, I’ve concoted a plan to have my mother retired in record time. So far, it’s going well. And, after that?

One day, you will see me on TV, giving that speech.

But this is it, Luigi.

The Internet’s dead, and its rotten corpse is filled with assholes. And there is no more fun here to be had.

It won’t even be fun to cause trouble after First Contact. Because, I mean— when I’m sitting in a Castle, fucking tweeting isn’t going to be on my top 10, or even top 1000 of shit I’d want to do.

I bet Twitter won’t even fucking survive that long.

~See you Starside!
Margaret Gel (icze4r/TheBattleAngel)
May 14th, 1994 — September 22nd, 2024 (11,089 days on the Internet)
(That’s Internet tenure. I’m not dead. And I’ll be back, but, y’know.)


Post-Script

I want to point out something, because I’m going to write something a little more involved at some point, talking about all the good things I experienced online. (Super Junkoid was really cool! (◕ᴗ◕✿))

The Internet was only good when both my parents were alive. Because— I could have fun, and then tell them about my exploits. I wanted to be entertaining.

On that night, when I thought my mother was going to die?

I have never felt so alone.

I don’t think I’ll be using the Internet as much, when the day finally comes that she passes on. I don’t think my heart could bear it; this place has been soaked with so many memories of shit that my parents were doing, at the time, that I think, at that time, I’m going to have to truly leave it.

The other thing was, I wanted to use the Internet as a way to disseminate information about space aliens. About the people who raised me. And, the reality is, there is nothing left to do. You all know.

There’s nothing more I can do.

You’ll see them soon enough.

My mother might live 10 more years. 20; or 30. But the reality is, she is old now. And I want to spend a lot of time with her; and I want to spend no time with people who only glommed onto me because they wanted comfort, selfishly.

I love my friends.

I have about five of them.

And that’s all.


An Explanation

After thinking about this for a while, I’ve come up with a better way to explain this.

After 11,089 days on the Internet— a little over 30 years— and with my father already gone, I have realized that, as much as I was trying to figure out my own emotions, as much as I was flailing, there are important things that need to be done, right now, and I don’t want to go to the end of this and realize that I haven’t spent enough time with my mom.

I spent all the time I could with my dad, and even though it feels like I did all I could, I don’t know. I don’t know. I had all the time in the world with my dad, and that’s all I wanted. But…

… this is the best way I can explain:

At the end of this, I don’t want to come up for air after I see my mother die, and have someone in my DMs telling me, ‘yeah, RIP’.


Brand New Animal Perfumes

In the past, I’d probably open up this whole thing by saying that I’m a weeb. But I’m not: my interest with anime is very minimal. I see a good character design, I like it. And I like Michiru Kagemori. I have relatively little desire to see the anime, because I’d rather just use the character as some sort of roleplay ‘shell’, and imagine what kinds of adventures and hijinx she gets up to.

That being said… I really do feel like she looks. So, I wanted to get these perfumes. I will probably never purchase the Shirou Ogami one; because, quite honestly, I bought the Nazuna one, the nun, whoever or whatever she is, and it smells like an old nun’s pussy. Now, if you’re into that shit, sure. But it smells like mothballs to me. Bitch be straight Napthalene, son.

Themed anime parfums are more common than you’d think. There’s even a brand called FAIRYTAIL (フェアリーテイル), who specialize in these things.

This was a thing before that, though. People have been making scented products inspired by anime characters for a long time. I mean— I grew up in Japan, and every kid over there knew what the bubblegum Sailor Moon shampoo tasted like. It was strong like Hellfire, and it cleaned you like acid. They even had themed Sailor Senshi perfumes over there– my step-Mom wore the Usagi one. The Mars one was pretty good: fiery, caliente!

That being said, let’s get to the perfumes.

They are not that great!


Shirou Ogami

As it says in the marketing material(s):

一見控えめに感じる香りですが、鼻を寄せれば爽やかなフリージアの香りから
深みのあるムスクへの香りの変化は魅力的な男性をイメージしています。
不老の力を持ち1000年生きている銀狼と、獣人たちを守る武骨で優しい
大神士郎という男を感じられます。

トップノート:シクラメン、フリージア、ローズ
ミドルノート:カーネーション、白ゆり
ラストノート:金木犀、ムスク、チュベローズ、アンバー

Which, if you don’t speak Nihongo, says something like:

At first glance, this frragrance seems subdued; however, if you put your nose close to it, the change from a fresh Freesia scent, to a deep musk, is reminiscent of an attractive man.

The silver wolf, who has the power of immortality and lives for 1,000 years, and the martial and gentle man, who protects the beastmen.

You can feel the man, Shiro Ogami, who protects the beastmen.

Top notes: cycalmen, freesia, rose

Middle notes: carnation, white lily

Last notes: golden osmanthus, musk, tuberose, amber

Now you might be saying: Margaret, what the fuck is this shit? Get this out of my face! Nobody knows what the fuck cycalmen smells like! What the fuck is a golden osmanthus? Musk? Musk?! Is this perfume going to offer me a horse?! For free?!

No.

no.

Also, it looks like this.

Enjoy having that fact crammed into your cerebrum for the rest of natural time.

I don’t have much to say about this one, because I not only do not have it, but I probably will not be getting it.

Because it’s $50+ and you have to wrap it in tin foil like it’s a goddamned hypermagnet, just to ship it overseas.

Also, fuck, I don’t wanna smell an attractive man.

I’m gay, mate. Just not like that.


Nazuna Hiwatashi’s Unwashed Nun Pussy

Sorry, but that’s what it smells like.

Do you desire nuns carnally?

Does the thought of an old woman’s mothball-marinated vagina fill you with glee?

Well pony up the dough, fucker, because this bitch is $50 and 50mL large!

This perfume describes itself in glowing terms that are completely and totally undeserved:

「BNA」の日渡なずなをイメージした香水です。 チェリーブロッサムやローズの華やかな香りは、みちるの親友であり、アイドルを夢見る一面を持つなずなを表現しています。ムスクの深みのある香りは、獣人たちの心の支えになりたいというなずなの本心を感じられます。

トップノート:チェリーブロッサム、ローズ
ミドルノート:ピーチ、ジャスミン
ラストノート:リリーオブザバレー、ムスク

安全警告
直射日光からは避けて保管してください。

Or, in Anglish,

This perfume is based on Nazuna Hiwatashi, from Brand New Animal.

The gorgeous scent of cherry blossom and rose expresses Michiru’s best friend, Nazuna, who dreams of becoming an idol.

The deep scent of musk shows Nazuna’s true desire to be the emotional support of the beasts.

Top notes: cherry blossom, rose.
Middle notes: peach, jasmine
Last notes: lily of the valley, musk.

Safety warning:
Keep out of direct sunlight.

Wasn’t that insightful? We’re learning! The pain means it’s working!

In all honesty I can smell every single note that this perfume lists. It’s just– this shit smells a lot like mothballs, dude. And, believe you me, I have been around a lot of old ladies, and… this is just their natural scent.

Like. They bottled 2-nonenal. Well, probably not really; but, it smells!

It smells.

NEXSHT


Michiru Kagemori: The Goated One

She prolly turns into a goat or some shit in the anime.

I don’t watch anime anymore. I haven’t since, like. 2000.

The year.

Here’s my ass, Daddy!

Check this ass!

Christ.

The eBay listing for this thing remarked:

This is the scent of an energetic girl, inspired by Michiru’s cheerful personality, who is active in Animacity.


The refreshing scent of passion fruit and the softening scent of amber and musk express Michiru’s kindness.

Top notes: apricot, mandarin, pineapple and grapefruit
Middle notes: peach, ginger, lily-of-the-valley bouge and freesia.
Last notes: peach blossom, white musk and ambergris

The original Japanese:

「BNA」の影森みちるをイメージした香水。
アニマシティで活躍する明るい性格のみちるをイメージした元気な女の子の香りです。パッションフルーツの爽やかな香りから、アンバーやムスクの柔らかくなる香りはみちるの優しさを表現しています。

トップノート:アプリコット、マンダリン、パイナップル、グレープフルーツ
ミドルノート:ピーチ、ジンジャー、すずらんブーゲ、フリージア
ラストノート:ピーチブロッサム、ホワイトムスク、アンバーグリス

Far be it from me to suggest that the reading of 優 is wrong (it probably is ‘kindness’; my brain is reading it as ‘gentleness’ or ‘grace’ but whatever, I’m probably wrong), these are very nice notes to add to a perfume.

It smells like piss.

It smells like Tanuki piss.

For its price, the smell that you get out of this is absolutely fantastic. I have two bottles, birthday presents for myself that I bought… Hell, it was two years ago. It’s well-worth it.

But it smells like piss.

Which is fine. I mean, I smell like piss.

So it all evens out.


Reality

In reality the Michiru Kagemori perfume is one of the best I’ve ever had. My other go-to perfume is Viva La Juicy Rose, which is one of the most-expensive perfumes I’ve ever owned.

The Michiru Kagemori perfume smells like a spunky young girl. It smells sporty and fresh and rejuvenating. It reminds me a lot of how I felt women smelled when I was first getting interested in women. There are hints of what I feel about my Wife in this perfume.

And there are, too, in the Nazuna one. I’d say my Wife smells the most like Jovan Musk for Women, the oil. But, the Nazuna one, it’s spicy. It’s intriguing. If you get too close, though, there are moth balls, and that’s not my Wife.

Very good perfumes. Love them.

I’m sad that I will one day run out of these, but She put them in the replicator.

No great loss.


Previous Notes

I intended this to be a static webpage, but, Hell. Here you go, mate!

A few funny notes:

… the flavor profiles I took from the eBay listing I purchased it from were either wrong or from something else entirely, because Nazuna’s perfume’s description is complete bullshit.

She smells like moth balls.

She smells old.

Think about what unaired-out 20-year-old nun pussy would smell like. It’s that. It smells like nun pussy juice (Ed. note: I began to actually get myself sick at this point)

Oddly, this is in direct contrast to what Michiru’s perfume smells like, which is, best as I can describe it, piss. How nice. What a nice treat. For me.

Sunsetting the Whorehouse

Margaret Gel’s Discount Whorehouse (y Carnicería) is officially closed. I’m not going to pretend that I know when it was first started, but it was something like November 23rd, 2023. Ostensibly, it lasted a long time.

I have closed this for a few reasons that I’d like to make public.

  1. A.I. Art has moved so far ahead of me that I genuinely cannot keep up, nor do I want to. People have come to me and told me that I was the one who got them started in this, and they have all gotten better at this than I am. Most of them were better than me a month after they got started. I simply do not have the tools to continue to do this, nor would I even continue this, as, to put it quite simply, I don’t feel like fucking around with this anymore. There’s largely no point left to it, either, as everybody else is better than me at it.
  2. In America, the thing about hosting porn is that it’s both very expensive (I’m beginning to pull something like a gig per day of traffic, and sometimes it gets really bad), and the laws are constantly changing. At one point in time, Rotten dot com had porn on their website. The laws changed, and they had to remove it. (At some point, a site called “The Gaping Maw” had bestiality on it, if I can remember correctly. That had to be removed.) My problems are much less than theirs are, and mine are entirely not self-inflicted. I have no desire to catch a lawsuit or something because the hillbilly politicians in Yankeeland have decided that anime tiddy is verboten. Already, Pornhub is illegal in several states, though those laws are being overturned by judges in their right mind(s). All it would take is one judge not in his right mind, and I don’t need that kind of trouble right now (as I’m currently taking care of my mother, who has cancer).
  3. I have no great desire to be a ‘pornographer’. It’s not exactly that I fear the public, nor fear being in the public eye. I am nearly 40 years old and my life is changing, and I am more-interested in being left alone and not raising the stakes of my life by presenting unprotected loose ends that other people can pick up. I want to grow tomatoes, fix electrical issues, and become more fit. I have no great desire to give people things to jerk their fucking dicks off to.

If this disappoints you, I understand. I, too, have often asked why artists would pull down all their work, and I know the pain of losing some of these things. I don’t want that for you.

Occasionally I’ll probably get a ‘wild hair’ (Gods, I hate that term) and post some of it again. Keep in mind, however, that, in my time, I generated over 100,000 images. Some of these, you may never see again. Others, perhaps.

That’s it.

The other thing is, the Coppermine Image Gallery system seems to draw lots of fucking robots, and boy do they want inside my server’s ass. No thanks, Samuel!

Later.

Margaret Gel’s Discount Whorehouse (y Carnicería)
~October 28th, 2023 — July 6th, 2024 (252 days)


Addendum

One thing, more than anything, that I want to say, is that I fell behind because pornography is the thing that leads technology in the human world. If you’re not killing each other, it’s sex. It’s this.

And I knew that. I knew that. And I wasn’t interested in it. I am not interested in trying. I have tried too long, and I have gotten not the distance that I expected. I will not try anymore.

I would have had to prostitute myself to even get anywhere, and even those people got nowhere. I’ve watched the rise (and fall!) of sexual V-Tubers, these people who are, pretty much, going from emotional prostitutes to just regular-ol’ prostitutes. And while there’s nothing wrong with being a prostitute (believe me, I’ve been there), I don’t intend on selling anything of me, ever again.

And that’s what this is. It doesn’t help that my first image that I made, it got stolen, and the person got 7,000 followers off of it. Those should have been for me.

But it never was. It never happened. And, now, posting all of this porn, there’s no point to it.

God help you if you’re anyone who draws anything but the biggest-titted women imaginable. They’re so after lolisho artists that there was porn I did, hentai I made, where the woman had normal-sized breasts, and wide fucking hips, and I was afraid to post it because you never fucking know who’s going to come to take your head off because they think that everything anime is ‘loli‘.

I guess that’s sad. But I wanted to see the inside of this— this was but another mountain that I wanted to climb.

And now I’m here. Or, rather, I was there.

On to something else.

Or maybe not!

Addendum 2: I wrote this as I was going through the website, and, damn, I actually made some good fuckin’ art.

Still, it’s going down.

I don’t fuckin’ need a gig being pulled from this server every single day.

Before you say, ‘well, why not accept money for it?’— again, don’t wanna become a pornographer. Think about the laws that America has set up. I don’t want MasterCard up my ass.

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